Unseen Truths Behind Our Freedom Lifestyle (Part 2)
More unfiltered stories from life on the move that no one posts about.
Clunk.
I was sitting on a gym machine this morning, poking at levers, trying to figure out how to adjust the seat.
Whoops. That wasn’t it.
There’s this awkward clumsiness that comes with visiting a new gym.
I wandered slowly, scanning for the leg press, hunting for my favorite cable attachment.
With 17 years in personal training and health, I can usually navigate the equipment pretty well…
…but no matter how many gyms I’ve been to, it always feels like someone is staring at me while I’m poking at levers and trying to figure out how to set up a new machine.
Adjusting to new spaces and change has become a familiar friend as we move from home to home, travelling the world with our two little kids.
These are the moments I sometimes forget to share… the unseen discomfort that rarely makes it into my diaries or Instagram posts.
Last week, I shared four unseen truths behind our freedom lifestyle, and I highly recommend you catch up first.
But there’s more I want to share.
Here are 4 new unfiltered truths I’d love to share with you from living our version of freedom.
The “Starting Again” Trap
For the most part, by the time I’ve signed up for a new gym and got up at 6am for my first workout, I’ve already done the hardest part.
I’ve gotten back into my routine.
You know how when you go on vacation or take time off to rehab an injury, it throws you off your routine?
You need starter energy and momentum just to get back to where you were.
I’m perpetually stuck in that place. Always starting again.
When you’re constantly moving cities, your circumstances are always changing.
Sometimes there is a gym nearby, sometimes there isn’t.
Sometimes it’s easy to get to a grocery store with healthy, whole food options, sometimes it isn’t.
And sometimes, you land in an Airbnb with a rock-hard bed that you have to pad with all of your extra bath towels just so you can fall asleep without your hips going numb.
Although I don’t love blaming my circumstances for the constant disruptions to my routine, this lifestyle makes it challenging to get a consistent flow going.
Every move comes with a few nights of low quality sleep as I adapt to the new environment, my mom brain is always alert for problems in our new home.
Every transition comes with a change in work out style, routine or frequency.
Every country comes with different foods and every kitchen different appliances (or lack thereof) to cook with.
I often wonder if I’d be in much better shape with a solid routine, consistency and a familiar weekly flow…
…but I suppose that’s one of the trade offs of always being on the go.
The Part-Time Job I Didn’t Expect
When I planned our first 2 month trip to Panama, I had an 18 month runway from idea to departure.
Eighteen months to plan, organize, schedule and research.
But now that I’m constantly in trip planning mode, it feels like a part time job.
While we were in the Dominican Republic, we were spending hours on booking.com and Airbnb reserving our accommodations for Bali.
I just wrapped a nearly manic, 3-week sprint planning the first two-thirds of our Vietnam trip, which starts in January.
Being 6 weeks out from our next trip, we are in prep mode - securing the visas, booking ground transportation, confirming reservations and placing Amazon orders for snorkels and portable carbon monoxide detectors.
When we arrive, it’s figuring out how we want to spend our time.
It’s ALWAYS something.
And in being the type A, organized planner in our home, I’m constantly making lists and scheduling all tasks week by week so nothing gets missed.
I’ve noticed OCD-like tendencies in myself when it comes to planning these trips.
I get tunnel vision and spend HOURS researching and booking, uninterrupted and obsessively working on it until I finish.
This will go on until I’ve fully planned and booked a single city. I sometimes lose 12 hour DAYS where I even forget to eat.
It’s curious watching this happen within my own brain… but I just want to get it done.
As I mentioned in my previous diaries, it’s not as easy as just picking any random place to stay with WiFi and a comfy bed.
There’s an extensive checklist in doing this with small kids.
Trip planning easily eats up 10–20 hours a week.
When I became work optional (when I retired) last year at 35, I never expected to pick up a part time job as a travel planner.
I’ve Become a Precision Grocery Shopper
I love optimization and I dislike food waste.
Because we are moving homes, cities or countries every few weeks to a month, we’ve had to learn to grocery shop precisely.
I picked up this awesome habit of grocery shopping every two weeks (check out this podcast episode I recorded on How I Only Grocery Shop 2x/Month) and we maintain it while we travel.
But what this means is we have to time our shops and the amount of food we buy so we aren’t leaving a fridge full of food OR carrying bags and bags of unused groceries to our next Airbnb.
Plus, spending that awkward 11-4pm gap between check out and check in with all our wilting veggies and thawing meat in the hot, 30°C Dominican sun isn’t my favorite pastime.
Because of this, we have to be super methodical with our grocery planning when we are out of the country, especially when we don’t have a car and are relying on public transportation and taxis.
We’ve become so good that 95% of the time, we leave with almost ZERO food and stop in at a grocery store on the way to our next home.
It’s not the biggest problem, but something I didn’t think about before we jumped into this lifestyle.
Missing My Husband
Have you ever been in a room with someone ALL of the time and… miss them?
Flynn and I have been together 24/7 for the last few years, and since we have begun travelling full time, it’s been hard on our relationship.
The one thing you don’t anticipate when you travel with kids is that in leaving your family and community behind, you’re also leaving behind your village.
Your support system that you build to help out with your kids vanishes overnight.
No grandparents to take the kids one day a week.
No aunties to take them for ice cream in the morning.
No help with cleaning the house.
No parent & child drop in centres within walking distance of home.
It all goes away and we are responsible for being their sole guardians, entertainers and influences for months at a time.
This means no date nights with Flynn. No long, flirty workouts at the gym. No cuddles on the couch, watching a movie with our favorite snacks.
I’m not at the place yet where I can go to a foreign country and hire a nanny or a babysitter - I don’t feel comfortable with that at all.
This world can be a dark place and I don’t think I’d be able to enjoy my time anyways without knowing they were 100% safe.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE our kids, but having no alone time with my husband has been hard on us.
It’s months like these where I miss him from across the room.
The disconnect makes me sad. I always intend to prioritize our relationship… but with kids, investments, health, and logistics, something often slips.
And too often, it’s us.
It’s our foundational deep friendship and love for each other that lets me know it’ll be ok.
It’s a season in our life in which we’ve traded out date night for jungle treks.
Gym sessions for barefoot walks on the beach.
Private movies and cuddles with family movie night and adventure.
It’s a season, so it’s a trade I’m ok with for now.
But it doesn’t mean I love it.
It’s a piece of this life that never occurred to me when we jumped on our first flight out of town.
Final Reflections
Again, if you read part one of this diary, you’ll know my intention isn’t to complain.
I wanted to offer you an unfiltered look into the ‘other’ side of our life.
It’s so easy to spend just a couple minutes on the internet and feel like someone else is living your dream life.
And maybe we are living your version of a dream life.
And while it’s amazing, I don’t want you to rush through the experience of YOUR life in chase of someone else’s.
Every version of reality has two sides.
That’s the 50/50 of life that I shared in this diary below.
No matter what your external circumstances are, life will continue to maintain a balance of 50% positive experiences and emotions.
The other 50% are the frustrations, anxieties, doubts and negative experiences.
It’s the human experience to feel it all.
No matter how big we dream, or how many travel destinations we chase, there are always going to be the unseen parts.
The unexpected speed bumps.
Real life.
So I breathe deep and remind myself: the hard parts are just part of the ride.
I can let it flow. Let life flow.
I can keep my heart open and go along for the ride. All of it.
Tanessa
Want to know how we reached financial independence at 33, retired at 35, and now travel the world with our kids?
We teach exactly how in our program: The Cash Flow Investor.